My current state can be summed up in 3 words:
Weak and Powerless :-(
Thank you all for your love and caring.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Transplant Day +15
It's Megan again. Still too tired. Eating seems to be the last thing he wants to do. nothing really sounds good. They still have him on IV nutrition and hydration.
Transplant Day +14
Megan here, Steve has been too tired to update the blog. Nothing new to report really. They have him on a soft diet so he is attempting to eat.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Transplant Day +13
Greetings friends!!!
Today was a wonderful day. My 3 beautiful children came up to visit. It just made my whole day. I haven't seen them since I got admitted back about 11 days ago. I love them so much and this lymphoma and stem cell transplant has made me realize the many changes I need to make in my lifestyle to help them grow up to be happy, healthy well functioning adults.
Also, my niece Jen called. That also made my day. I haven't seen her in such a very long time and miss her dearly. I was so nice to hear her voice, we had a great talk.
More good news, the removed my N/G Tube this morning and started letting me eat some mild, soft foods. The diahriah seem to be getting better as well.
Thank you God and your Wonderful Son Jesus Christ for such a good day.
Hemoglbin 10.4
WBC 3.4
Platelets 38
Today was a wonderful day. My 3 beautiful children came up to visit. It just made my whole day. I haven't seen them since I got admitted back about 11 days ago. I love them so much and this lymphoma and stem cell transplant has made me realize the many changes I need to make in my lifestyle to help them grow up to be happy, healthy well functioning adults.
Also, my niece Jen called. That also made my day. I haven't seen her in such a very long time and miss her dearly. I was so nice to hear her voice, we had a great talk.
More good news, the removed my N/G Tube this morning and started letting me eat some mild, soft foods. The diahriah seem to be getting better as well.
Thank you God and your Wonderful Son Jesus Christ for such a good day.
Hemoglbin 10.4
WBC 3.4
Platelets 38
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Transplant Day +12
Greetings all!!!
I just wanted to make a quick post, I am extremely tired. I wanted to apologize mainly to my beautiful wife Megan. You have been so strong throughout all of this, and done so much that I am amazed by you and your spirit. I now, without a doubt, know that I am the luckiest man on the face of this earth to have you and your love, devotion and strength. I do not think that I could get through this without you. I am sorry Megan, that for the past few days I have let my spirit get so down and started to feel sorry for myself. I am sorry that you have had to see me in this shape, whimpering and whining, complaining about everything under the sun, and you already worrying so much, spending so much time here, then having to go home and deal with life. Well my fighting spirit is back and I am ready to do whatever it takes to see this through!!!!
I promise you Megan, when we get through this and I am back up on my feet, you are going to feel like a Princess. I am going to give you the best life you could have ever imagined and make you feel like the luckiest woman on earth, I PROMISE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
To all friends and family, thank you so much for your prayers and/or well wishes and positive thoughts. I know that they have carried me through some very difficult times and will continue to do so. THANK YOU ALL AND GOD BLESS.
Hemoglobin 10.6
WBC 3.1
Platelets 41
I just wanted to make a quick post, I am extremely tired. I wanted to apologize mainly to my beautiful wife Megan. You have been so strong throughout all of this, and done so much that I am amazed by you and your spirit. I now, without a doubt, know that I am the luckiest man on the face of this earth to have you and your love, devotion and strength. I do not think that I could get through this without you. I am sorry Megan, that for the past few days I have let my spirit get so down and started to feel sorry for myself. I am sorry that you have had to see me in this shape, whimpering and whining, complaining about everything under the sun, and you already worrying so much, spending so much time here, then having to go home and deal with life. Well my fighting spirit is back and I am ready to do whatever it takes to see this through!!!!
I promise you Megan, when we get through this and I am back up on my feet, you are going to feel like a Princess. I am going to give you the best life you could have ever imagined and make you feel like the luckiest woman on earth, I PROMISE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
To all friends and family, thank you so much for your prayers and/or well wishes and positive thoughts. I know that they have carried me through some very difficult times and will continue to do so. THANK YOU ALL AND GOD BLESS.
Hemoglobin 10.6
WBC 3.1
Platelets 41
Friday, April 25, 2008
Transplant Day +11
GREAT SONG---"Zzyzx Rd." By STONE SOUR
I don't know how else to put this. It's taken me so long to do this, I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight. My muscles feel like a melee, my body's curled in a U-shape. I put on my best but I'm still afraid.
Propped up by lies and promises, saving my place as life forgets. Maybe its time I saw the world. I'm only here for a while, but patience is not my style, and I'm so tired that I gotta go.
What am I supposed to hide now? What am I supposed to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through? Tell me I should stick around for you, tell me I could have it all. I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go.
I get to go home in one week, but I leaving home in three weeks. They throw me a bone just to pick me dry. I'm following suit and directions, I crawl up inside for protection. I'm told what to do and I don't know why. I'm over existing in limbo, I'm over the myths and placebos. I don't really mind if I just fade away. I'm ready to live with my family, I'm ready to die in obscurity.
'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go.
Where am I supposed to hide now? What am I suppose to do? You still don't think I'm going see this through. Tell me I'm a part of history, tell me I can have it all. I'm still to tired to care and I gotta go.
Hemoglobin 10.2
WBC 2.3
Plateletes 49
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Transplant Day +9
I don't remember much of day 9. My wife thinks that's a good thing ;) Lots of narcotics.
Hemoglobin 8.4
WBC 1.2
Platelets 27
Hemoglobin 8.4
WBC 1.2
Platelets 27
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Transplant Day +8
DAY +8 TUESDAY 4/22/08
I'm sorry,
I'm just..... its starting to hit me like a ummmm,
ummmm a 2 ton heavy thing.
Hemoglobin 8.2
WBC .6
Platelets 14
I'm sorry,
I'm just..... its starting to hit me like a ummmm,
ummmm a 2 ton heavy thing.
Hemoglobin 8.2
WBC .6
Platelets 14
Monday, April 21, 2008
Transplant Day +7
Hasn't been a fun few days for Steve. I thought I would update his blog tonight, as he is in rough shape. He had an NG tube placed today. They sucked out 5 liters of fluid. Probably more like 6 liters by now. He will have the tube in for a few days to give his gut a rest. He had gained 10 pounds since the 17th. Once they sucked out the 5 liters, he had lost 7 pounds.
I hope he feels up to writing himself tomorrow.
Hemoglobin 91
WBC 0.3
Platelets 19
Day +6
Chemical boy says:
Owwwwwwwww. I'm in too much pain to do this today. Sorry.
Hemoglobin 9.0
WBC .2
Platelets 19
Owwwwwwwww. I'm in too much pain to do this today. Sorry.
Hemoglobin 9.0
WBC .2
Platelets 19
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Day +5
Chemical brother says:
Thank you to Megan's family and Jenny Lee for taking care of the kids so Megan can stay with me the past 3 nights. It's been wonderful to have her here through out all of the sickness that has been happening. (barfing...........) Who else but your soul mate can sit next to you while you vomit all day long? They started feeding me through my central line tonight so I can start getting calories. Steak and eggs, yum!! I would like to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite artists, Alice Cooper: "Wake me gently, if you can. Wake me gently, just touch my hand. Wake me gently, from my sleep. Cause where I'm at is where I want to leave."
Hemoglobin 7.3
WBC .1
Platelets 29
Thank you to Megan's family and Jenny Lee for taking care of the kids so Megan can stay with me the past 3 nights. It's been wonderful to have her here through out all of the sickness that has been happening. (barfing...........) Who else but your soul mate can sit next to you while you vomit all day long? They started feeding me through my central line tonight so I can start getting calories. Steak and eggs, yum!! I would like to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite artists, Alice Cooper: "Wake me gently, if you can. Wake me gently, just touch my hand. Wake me gently, from my sleep. Cause where I'm at is where I want to leave."
Hemoglobin 7.3
WBC .1
Platelets 29
Friday, April 18, 2008
Day +4
Steve say's:
Can't imagine things getting any worse. Although I know they will. Please pray for me and my family. Help us through this difficult time. (Hold on, I think he just feel asleep...)
I layed in bed all day, tried to keep the pain away. I got about 20 calories in today. My goal is 1000. Nothing stays in, or down. I delveloped a fever today. Nice cherry to top it all off.
Hemoglobin 12.1
WBC .2
Platelets 48
Can't imagine things getting any worse. Although I know they will. Please pray for me and my family. Help us through this difficult time. (Hold on, I think he just feel asleep...)
I layed in bed all day, tried to keep the pain away. I got about 20 calories in today. My goal is 1000. Nothing stays in, or down. I delveloped a fever today. Nice cherry to top it all off.
Hemoglobin 12.1
WBC .2
Platelets 48
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Day + 3
This is Mrs. Chemo, reporting for the captain. He has temporarily abandoned ship. Shitting blood and being loaded up on narcotics will do that. The morning started out pretty rough with pain and vomiting. I took him in to the hospital and they admitted him right away. We are both a little scared, but he is where he needs to be right now. He's getting transfusions, drugs, hydration, monitoring...Hopefully they can find the source of the pain and bleeding tomorrow. I guess the CT scanner took the night off???
Blood counts for today are:
Hemoglobin 12.1
WBC 0.2
Plateletes: 23
Blood counts for today are:
Hemoglobin 12.1
WBC 0.2
Plateletes: 23
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Transplant Day +2
TRANSPLANT DAY +2 WEDNESDAY 4/16/08
I think I’m traveling at a high rate of speed towards a 2-ton heavy thing. Besides the nausea, mouth sores, heartburn, hiccups, diarrhea and my counts continuing their freefall, I’m doing great!!! The transplant coordinator said I have 3 main jobs to do to get through this hard time:
1. Hydrate as much as possible
2. Caloric intake of at least 1,900 calories per day
3. Stay active
Well right now the hydration and caloric intake is going right through me. As far as staying active, I’m too tired to care and I gotta go.
Hemoglobin 10.6
WBC 0.3
Plateletes 61
I think I’m traveling at a high rate of speed towards a 2-ton heavy thing. Besides the nausea, mouth sores, heartburn, hiccups, diarrhea and my counts continuing their freefall, I’m doing great!!! The transplant coordinator said I have 3 main jobs to do to get through this hard time:
1. Hydrate as much as possible
2. Caloric intake of at least 1,900 calories per day
3. Stay active
Well right now the hydration and caloric intake is going right through me. As far as staying active, I’m too tired to care and I gotta go.
Hemoglobin 10.6
WBC 0.3
Plateletes 61
Transplant Day +1
TRANSPLANT DAY +1 TUESDAY 4/15/08
First day home. Side effects are getting stronger. I get these strange hiccups, sometimes 1 or 2 at once, but I counted 15 in a row one time. With the hiccups comes severe heartburn. Nausea is controlled pretty well with meds. I have been having some pretty bad diahria, which is not improving. They tell me these side effects are from the preservative that my stem cells were stored with and my body is getting it out these ways.
It’s good to be home and I feel pretty crappy, but I know things could be worse. My blood counts keep dropping, which in turn tires me out and makes the side effect stronger. I am so not looking forward to the next 7 – 14 days!!
Hemoglobin 10.1
WBC 2.4
Plateletes 82
First day home. Side effects are getting stronger. I get these strange hiccups, sometimes 1 or 2 at once, but I counted 15 in a row one time. With the hiccups comes severe heartburn. Nausea is controlled pretty well with meds. I have been having some pretty bad diahria, which is not improving. They tell me these side effects are from the preservative that my stem cells were stored with and my body is getting it out these ways.
It’s good to be home and I feel pretty crappy, but I know things could be worse. My blood counts keep dropping, which in turn tires me out and makes the side effect stronger. I am so not looking forward to the next 7 – 14 days!!
Hemoglobin 10.1
WBC 2.4
Plateletes 82
Monday, April 14, 2008
Transplant Day 0
DAY O MONDAY 4/14/08
Well, it is done. Pretty simple really. They froze the stem cells after they collected them and today they just thawed the bags out in warm water, put them in 7 different syringes and slowly put them back.
No real problems with side effects, but I was told that in about a week to 10 days the intense chemo will really start kicking my butt. Megan was here with me and 2 nurses. All the nurses and doctors have been very nice and I give them thanks. Also, most importantly, thanks be to God and His Glorious Son for helping my family through this phase of treatment without any major side effects. Last night they gave me some steroids which kept me up until about 5:30am, my mind was racing and I think I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep.
I am hoping to start composing some music about my entire cancer experience, starting with Diagnosis and ending with Cure, with everything else in between. As my mind was racing last night, the song Hey There Delilah came to mind so I rewrote the lyrics. Maybe I’ll add some punch to it with some electric guitar, bass and drums when I am feeling up to it.
Here it is:
HEY THERE LYMPHOMA
Music by The Plain White Tees
Lyrics by Captain Chemo
Hey there Lymphoma
Oh you know I do hate thee
15 tumors seems like a lot
Well, it is done. Pretty simple really. They froze the stem cells after they collected them and today they just thawed the bags out in warm water, put them in 7 different syringes and slowly put them back.
No real problems with side effects, but I was told that in about a week to 10 days the intense chemo will really start kicking my butt. Megan was here with me and 2 nurses. All the nurses and doctors have been very nice and I give them thanks. Also, most importantly, thanks be to God and His Glorious Son for helping my family through this phase of treatment without any major side effects. Last night they gave me some steroids which kept me up until about 5:30am, my mind was racing and I think I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep.
I am hoping to start composing some music about my entire cancer experience, starting with Diagnosis and ending with Cure, with everything else in between. As my mind was racing last night, the song Hey There Delilah came to mind so I rewrote the lyrics. Maybe I’ll add some punch to it with some electric guitar, bass and drums when I am feeling up to it.
Here it is:
HEY THERE LYMPHOMA
Music by The Plain White Tees
Lyrics by Captain Chemo
Hey there Lymphoma
What's it like inside my body?
Hope you know that you are leaving soon
And I’m not very sorry
Yes it’s true
My light shines bright it out shines you
You know it's true
Hey there Lymphoma
Don't be messing with my family
They’re all standing here beside me
Megan, Jacob, Josh and Abby
Close their eyes
They pray at night for your demise
And so do I
Oh you know I do hate thee
Oh for what you’ve done to me
Oh you know I do hate thee
Because you’ve hurt my family
Hurt my family
Hey there Lymphoma I know times are getting hard
Just be thankful that you’re not a man
You’d be bloodied, bruised and scarred
And most of all I’d laugh my ass off as you fall
Then watch you crawl
Hey there Lymphoma
There’s not so much left to say
If every person that has crossed your path
Could beat you in this way
I'd help them all
Even more the harder you would fall
We'd have a ball
Oh you know I do hate thee
Oh for what you’ve done to me
Oh you know I do hate thee
Because you’ve hurt my family
15 tumors seems like a lot
But they've got pills and drugs and doc’s
I'd cut you out if I had no other way
Some people they might laugh at me
And I'll just laugh along you see
I hope that none of them will feel your pain
Lymphoma I can promise you
That by the time I’m through with you
My world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Lymphoma
I’m not sorry and I won’t miss you
Every time I take them to the park
I’ll need a box of tissues for my eyes
I can’t believe you made me cry
But I’m not sad to say goodbye
Hey there Lymphoma take a ride
Cause I’m alive
Oh you know I do hate thee
Oh for what you’ve done to me
Oh you know I do hate thee
Because you’ve hurt my family
Hurt my family
Hemoglobin 10.3
WBC 5.4
Platelets 118
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Transplant Day -1
DAY -1 SUNDAY 4/13/08
Hey, hey, another great day. The nausea didn’t last long, but the fatigue is still there. I finished my chemo this morning at around 10:00am and then got to go home again!!! I just got back (I am a bit tardy, shhh, no one was at the desk when I snuck in). Tomorrow at 5:00am I will be given some hydration through IV for 4 hours. Between 9:30-10:00am my stem cells will be put back, then another 4 hours of IV fluids. As long as things go well I will be an out-patient after tomorrow, coming in every day for blood work and check-ups for awhile.
I am not too worried about the transplant. I am more concerned about the next body scan, whether it be in 1 month or 3 months or 6 months. I just wanna be rid of this horribly dreadful disease for ever. Thanks to all of my family and friends for the support, it means so much to Megan and I.
Peace,
Steven M.
Hemoglobin 10.3
WBC 3.1
Plateletes 130
Hey, hey, another great day. The nausea didn’t last long, but the fatigue is still there. I finished my chemo this morning at around 10:00am and then got to go home again!!! I just got back (I am a bit tardy, shhh, no one was at the desk when I snuck in). Tomorrow at 5:00am I will be given some hydration through IV for 4 hours. Between 9:30-10:00am my stem cells will be put back, then another 4 hours of IV fluids. As long as things go well I will be an out-patient after tomorrow, coming in every day for blood work and check-ups for awhile.
I am not too worried about the transplant. I am more concerned about the next body scan, whether it be in 1 month or 3 months or 6 months. I just wanna be rid of this horribly dreadful disease for ever. Thanks to all of my family and friends for the support, it means so much to Megan and I.
Peace,
Steven M.
Hemoglobin 10.3
WBC 3.1
Plateletes 130
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Transplant Day -2
DAY -2 SATURDAY 4/12/08
Hi all! Another pretty good day. I am starting to get very tired and a bit nausious. My counts continue to drop. It’s almost time for my last “E” and “A” chemo cocktail, WOOT, WOOT!!! Megan, I am sorry I was an ass today, I know things are hard right now, and they are going to get worse before they get better. I promise to try and be more understanding with everything you’re doing and dealing with. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! And again, I am sorry.
Hemoglobin 10
WBC 1.7
Plateletes 140
Hi all! Another pretty good day. I am starting to get very tired and a bit nausious. My counts continue to drop. It’s almost time for my last “E” and “A” chemo cocktail, WOOT, WOOT!!! Megan, I am sorry I was an ass today, I know things are hard right now, and they are going to get worse before they get better. I promise to try and be more understanding with everything you’re doing and dealing with. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! And again, I am sorry.
Hemoglobin 10
WBC 1.7
Plateletes 140
Friday, April 11, 2008
Transplant Day -3
DAY -3 FRIDAY 4/11/08
Today was another good day. I am starting to feel more tired, but hey, it could be much worse. I was able to go home again today so that was really nice. I got a nap in and got to eat supper at home with my family. Not much else to report right now, just starting my evening chemo and watching game 2 of the MN Wild and Col. Avalance play-off hockey game. GO WILD!!!!
Hemoglobin 9.6
WBC 2.0
Plateletes 159
Today was another good day. I am starting to feel more tired, but hey, it could be much worse. I was able to go home again today so that was really nice. I got a nap in and got to eat supper at home with my family. Not much else to report right now, just starting my evening chemo and watching game 2 of the MN Wild and Col. Avalance play-off hockey game. GO WILD!!!!
Hemoglobin 9.6
WBC 2.0
Plateletes 159
Transplant Day -4
DAY -4 THURSDAY 4/10/08
Not much to say about Day -4. Same “E” and “A” of “BEAM” and I feel fine. I did not sleep well again last night, and my blood counts are slowly coming down, but not enough to make me feel too bad yet. Abby was a bit sick and had to come home from day care so I played it safe and stayed in the hospital today. I am hoping to go home between treatments tomorrow.
Not much to say about Day -4. Same “E” and “A” of “BEAM” and I feel fine. I did not sleep well again last night, and my blood counts are slowly coming down, but not enough to make me feel too bad yet. Abby was a bit sick and had to come home from day care so I played it safe and stayed in the hospital today. I am hoping to go home between treatments tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Transplant Day -5
DAY -5 Wednesday 4/9/2008 8:20 PM
I would like to start this entry with saying a few thanks.
Firstly, thanks so much to our Glorious Father and Creator God and His Wonderful and Loving Son Jesus Christ. They have blessed me far more than I have ever deserved. These blessings include, but are not limited to the following:
My Beautiful Wife Megan. Thank you so much for all that you do. Words or even thoughts cannot express the love I have for you. Sorry for putting you through all this crap and for being a butt-head, cry-baby, jerk……I don’t know how you do all that you do and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your love, courage and strength. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
My Three Children. Identical twin boys Jacob and Joshua, age 6, and sweet little Abby, age 3. They are my world, my life. I would do or give anything for them. I have never felt, or even knew such an intense and all consuming love existed until those twin Rolbiecki boys and their sister Abby came into my life.
My Parents. Both my parents are awesome and I don’t know how they put up with me through my teen years! There is nothing I could do or give them for all they’ve done for me. Mom, thanks for being such a kind and loving mom. Dad, you are, have always been and always will be my hero. I love you both so much words can’t describe.
My Brother and 4 Sisters. Even though we do not spend the time together like we use to, I want you all to know that I love so very much and wish we could spend more time together again. Maybe after Josh recovers from his surgery in July. Thank you so much for all you’ve done for my family and I this past year, it will never be forgotten.
My Incredible In-Laws. What can I say? Grammy, Jena and Rick, thanks so much for everything you've helped us out with in this difficult time, and even before it for that matter. I truly appreciate all that you have done for us and karma will find it's way to you all!!!
Nieces and Nephews. Sydney and Dylon, thanks for being such great kids and for all you've done for my entire family. I'll try and pay you back someday (after I win the Powerball!!) Christian and Mickey, thanks for your incredible hugs and love and for everything else you've done for us, again it would take a winning Poweball ticket to pay you back!!! Shaun, you're a great young man and I wish you the best. I miss seeing you though. Maybe after my recovery we can hook up a bit more often. Jennifer, I miss you so much and am so very proud of you. Thank you for the nice phone message you left me. I was going to call you tonight but I forgot my cell at home and can't call long distance from the hospital :-( I love you so much and can't wait to see you this July!!! Cassie, what can I say. You were heaven sent and words cannot describe the appreciation that my family has for everything you've done for us. Can't wait for your big day in July. We love you so much!
My Friends. I didn't really realize how wonderfully incredible my friends are until my diagnosis. My old band STIR will always be close to my heart, mostly because of that incredible guitarist they have (Carl... .Kobe, Cody?… um I forget his name, but trust me he’s phenomenal!). To all of my friends who’ve helped out spiritually, physically, emotionally or financially (and I know some of you have done more than just one of those), I am forever indebted to you all and consider myself to be extremely blessed to share this thing we call life with you all.
All of those eBayers. You people blew my mind. Total strangers helping me raise $$$ to ease the financial burden brought onto my family during this whole process. People from all across the US and even Canada sent checks, some couldn’t send any $$$ but sent prayers and well wishes instead. I even got some messages for advice from some who were recently diagnosed with the same cancer as I. Thank you all so much.
The Post Bulletin/KTTC/WCCO. Thank you for the attention you gave to my disease and eBay auction through your articles and Newscasts. My 2nd grade teacher, Ms. Shraggey (sp?), now Mrs. Berg, actually saw the KTTC spot and the next day she calls my house...WOW was that unreal! I couldn’t believe she’d remembered me after 34 years!!! But she did and she came over with class pictures. It was a great visit.
Last But Not Least, My Guitar Students. Every one of my 30 students, current and former, from age 6 to 60, are all incredible people and I count myself lucky to know you. Thank you all for your enduring patience throughout this incredibly rough battle that my family is going through. I miss all of you all and hope to be back at it sometime in August.
Okay, onto the transplant business. Today (and for the next 3 days) my regimen is the “E” and the “A” of the "BEAM" chemical cocktail for my chemo. I started at 8:00am and finished at 11:00am. Then I got to leave again – YAY!!! I have the same chemo again tonight from 8:00pm to 11:00pm. Then that continues over the next 3 days. I am feeling a bit tired but I think that’s more due to lack of sleep than side effects. I know there’s an extremely difficult and rough road ahead, but at least the chemo is going good so far – no ill effects yet!!! Update on that tomorrow.
I would like to start this entry with saying a few thanks.
Firstly, thanks so much to our Glorious Father and Creator God and His Wonderful and Loving Son Jesus Christ. They have blessed me far more than I have ever deserved. These blessings include, but are not limited to the following:
My Beautiful Wife Megan. Thank you so much for all that you do. Words or even thoughts cannot express the love I have for you. Sorry for putting you through all this crap and for being a butt-head, cry-baby, jerk……I don’t know how you do all that you do and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your love, courage and strength. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
My Three Children. Identical twin boys Jacob and Joshua, age 6, and sweet little Abby, age 3. They are my world, my life. I would do or give anything for them. I have never felt, or even knew such an intense and all consuming love existed until those twin Rolbiecki boys and their sister Abby came into my life.
My Parents. Both my parents are awesome and I don’t know how they put up with me through my teen years! There is nothing I could do or give them for all they’ve done for me. Mom, thanks for being such a kind and loving mom. Dad, you are, have always been and always will be my hero. I love you both so much words can’t describe.
My Brother and 4 Sisters. Even though we do not spend the time together like we use to, I want you all to know that I love so very much and wish we could spend more time together again. Maybe after Josh recovers from his surgery in July. Thank you so much for all you’ve done for my family and I this past year, it will never be forgotten.
My Incredible In-Laws. What can I say? Grammy, Jena and Rick, thanks so much for everything you've helped us out with in this difficult time, and even before it for that matter. I truly appreciate all that you have done for us and karma will find it's way to you all!!!
Nieces and Nephews. Sydney and Dylon, thanks for being such great kids and for all you've done for my entire family. I'll try and pay you back someday (after I win the Powerball!!) Christian and Mickey, thanks for your incredible hugs and love and for everything else you've done for us, again it would take a winning Poweball ticket to pay you back!!! Shaun, you're a great young man and I wish you the best. I miss seeing you though. Maybe after my recovery we can hook up a bit more often. Jennifer, I miss you so much and am so very proud of you. Thank you for the nice phone message you left me. I was going to call you tonight but I forgot my cell at home and can't call long distance from the hospital :-( I love you so much and can't wait to see you this July!!! Cassie, what can I say. You were heaven sent and words cannot describe the appreciation that my family has for everything you've done for us. Can't wait for your big day in July. We love you so much!
My Friends. I didn't really realize how wonderfully incredible my friends are until my diagnosis. My old band STIR will always be close to my heart, mostly because of that incredible guitarist they have (Carl... .Kobe, Cody?… um I forget his name, but trust me he’s phenomenal!). To all of my friends who’ve helped out spiritually, physically, emotionally or financially (and I know some of you have done more than just one of those), I am forever indebted to you all and consider myself to be extremely blessed to share this thing we call life with you all.
All of those eBayers. You people blew my mind. Total strangers helping me raise $$$ to ease the financial burden brought onto my family during this whole process. People from all across the US and even Canada sent checks, some couldn’t send any $$$ but sent prayers and well wishes instead. I even got some messages for advice from some who were recently diagnosed with the same cancer as I. Thank you all so much.
The Post Bulletin/KTTC/WCCO. Thank you for the attention you gave to my disease and eBay auction through your articles and Newscasts. My 2nd grade teacher, Ms. Shraggey (sp?), now Mrs. Berg, actually saw the KTTC spot and the next day she calls my house...WOW was that unreal! I couldn’t believe she’d remembered me after 34 years!!! But she did and she came over with class pictures. It was a great visit.
Last But Not Least, My Guitar Students. Every one of my 30 students, current and former, from age 6 to 60, are all incredible people and I count myself lucky to know you. Thank you all for your enduring patience throughout this incredibly rough battle that my family is going through. I miss all of you all and hope to be back at it sometime in August.
Okay, onto the transplant business. Today (and for the next 3 days) my regimen is the “E” and the “A” of the "BEAM" chemical cocktail for my chemo. I started at 8:00am and finished at 11:00am. Then I got to leave again – YAY!!! I have the same chemo again tonight from 8:00pm to 11:00pm. Then that continues over the next 3 days. I am feeling a bit tired but I think that’s more due to lack of sleep than side effects. I know there’s an extremely difficult and rough road ahead, but at least the chemo is going good so far – no ill effects yet!!! Update on that tomorrow.
Transplant Day -6
DAY -6 Tuesday 4/8/2008 10:05 PM
Today was a great day. I checked in at 8:00 am and started the “B” drug of the “BEAM” chemo regimen at 10:30am and finished it at 12:30pm. I was a little scared of how the drug may effect me as this is my first experience with “BEAM”. But today was great,the only side effect I felt was a pretty good headache. That was taken care of nicely by some pain meds.
I actually got to leave the hospital after the chemo. I went home and rested, then went with my wife to pick up the kids from day care and then out for pizza!!! That was wonderful as the worst part of this whole experience is being away from my family (who mean everything to me).
Tomorrow I get the “E” and the “A” chemos from 8am to 11am and then again from 8pm to 1pm. If I’m feeling good I’ll be able to leave between the treatments, which is awesome. I thought I’d be stuck in the hospital 24/7 through this “BEAM” chemo. What a nice surprise to be able to get away for some time.
Today was a great day. I checked in at 8:00 am and started the “B” drug of the “BEAM” chemo regimen at 10:30am and finished it at 12:30pm. I was a little scared of how the drug may effect me as this is my first experience with “BEAM”. But today was great,the only side effect I felt was a pretty good headache. That was taken care of nicely by some pain meds.
I actually got to leave the hospital after the chemo. I went home and rested, then went with my wife to pick up the kids from day care and then out for pizza!!! That was wonderful as the worst part of this whole experience is being away from my family (who mean everything to me).
Tomorrow I get the “E” and the “A” chemos from 8am to 11am and then again from 8pm to 1pm. If I’m feeling good I’ll be able to leave between the treatments, which is awesome. I thought I’d be stuck in the hospital 24/7 through this “BEAM” chemo. What a nice surprise to be able to get away for some time.
My Pre-Transplant Life
Okay, so I had a pretty "normal" life up to the age of 20. I started playing guitar in 1984 at 17. I jammed with some great guys in a band called Cyanide and things were going pretty good until Sept. 1987. At that time I started having strange "falling spells". Whenever I would lose my balance my body would go stiff as a board and I would fall, without being able to break that fall. This went on for a few months then it worsened to the point that I could no longer even walk, I needed a wheelchair. Needless to say, my guitar playing days were over at that time, and the members of Cyanide went their ways. One has since passed away (Wesley N. House, R.I.P. brother, I love you!!) and another eventually left the music scene. Two others are still at it, and are extremely talented musicians.
I had numerous visits to the Mayo Clinic and they could find nothing wrong with me. They basically told me that I didn’t want to walk, and if I did really want to, I could. They sent me to numerous psychiatrists, and after I almost started to believe their bullshit, I stopped going. Then in early 1989 a friend of my Mom’s recommended a neurologist that had helped her with some back problems.
I met this new doctor in 1989 and he began to look deeper into whatever was going on with me. After a few stays in a Minneapolis hospital, he could find nothing wrong either. Then around 1992 I woke up one day with double vision. I went to my doctor in the Twin Cities and he ordered a bunch of tests, including an MRI of my head. This MRI showed some small scarring on the left side of my brain that was consistent with a neuro-muscular disease called Dystonia. After experimenting with all kinds of meds, my doc saw an article that spoke about a new drug used primarily in patients with Parkinson’s disease. The article stated that some docs saw amazing results with this med and Dystonia. I started on this drug, Artane, sometime in 1994. I was still in a wheelchair, and left my home only for appointments. That’s 7 years of social isolation and being wheelchair bound!!!
During those 7 years I studied 2 things intensely. One was the Bible, the other was guitar. I decided that if I was going to be wheelchair bound, I wanted to be as independent as I could, so I left my parents home and moved to Red Wing, MN in November of 1995 to attend a college for guitar building. I being in a wheelchair was tough and none of their equipment for guitar building was wheelchair friendly, so after my 1st year I was flunking out. I decided to go for a degree in computer support, which I did.
By 1996, thanks to the Artane, I was no longer in the chair, but used a cane to get around. By the time I graduated in Nov. of 1997, I was able to chuck the cane and only had "minor flare-ups" with Dystonia.
In January 1998 I was hired by Manpower to help with Mayo Clinic’s Y2K program, updating older computers to avoid any possible problems with the Y2K scare. After the updates were finished, Mayo kept me on working mostly on installing new computers throughout their campuses in Minnesota. My contract with Manpower expired on Dec. 31st, 1999 and Mayo chose not to renew it.
In January of 2000, I was hired with a company that cleaned carpets, furniture, drapes among other duties, for hotel chains nationwide. It was a pretty cool job as I became a crew leader and we would travel from city to city across the U.S. cleaning these hotels. We were in teams of 3 and we usually had 3 days to get the hotels done. I worked out a system that got the job done in1 to 1 ½ days so we had time to sight see as we wished. I was able to visit the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, The Golden Gate Bridge, the Grand Canyon, spent 3 weeks in Las Vegas, saw concerts at Red Rocks Amphitheater in Denver among other things. After about 8 months I started missing friends, family and most of all, playing guitar. I quit and came back to Rochester, MN.
After a few months of job seeking, I landed a position with All Systems Installation in Rochester, MN. They had a contract with Treasure Island Resort and Casino to wire up their new office buildings and some other upgrades in the casino area. We wired up everything from computers, to phones to closed circuit TV, and other such things. After 6 months the job at Treasure Island was done and almost all 6 of us from Rochester were laid off. So they basically hired some new guys so they could start us on the low end of the pay scale, and when the job was done they laid us off.
That brings us to March of 2001, when I got hired on with Adair Electric in Rochester, basically doing the same thing I did with All Systems. I mainly worked at the Mayo Clinic but also did other businesses and private homes as well.
On March 9th, 2001, I met an amazing woman named Megan while jamming in a friend’s basement (Mel Johnston). We kind of hit it off and started dating. After many incredibly awesome nights spent mostly at the North Star Bar, we found out that we were going to have twins!!! I thought, "Oh shit, we need to get married". So on Sept. 14th of 2001 we did just that!
On Feb. 1st, 2002, we welcomed Jacob and Joshua Rolbiecki into this world, identical twins at that!!!! In May of that year my wife Megan got an awesome opportunity to work for a company that works with organ donations. We talked about it and decided that the offer was too good to turn down so we decided that I would become a stay-at-home dad and she would go off to work.
Everything was going great for us and in April of 2003 I started giving private guitar lessons to help with extra income. Fast forward to January 14th, 2005. On that day my family welcomed Abigail Rolbiecki into this world. Now I had 3 at home to take care of!!! Life was great, and I loved it.
Then, in early April of 2007 I started having this tingling sensation in my left hand. I figured it was due to over practicing my guitar playing, trying to improve my playing for my band Stir. This tingling would continue for about 2 weeks and I thought it was Carpel Tunnel. During that 2 weeks Megan kept on me about going in to see my doctor. I finally relented and went in. At the time I went in I had a minor cough. My doctor put me through several Carpel Tunnel type tests, but nothing fell in place for that diagnosis. Since I had the cough my doc suggested we do a chest x-ray, so we did. Later that day he called and said there were some suspicious areas and that they needed to do a CT scan to find out what was up. A couple days after the CT scan he called back and asked me to come in to talk. I told him, since it sounds kind of bad just tell me on the phone. So I got Megan and we put the phone on speaker. "This is not good" the doc said. "It looks like some type of Lymphoma, but we’ll need to do more tests to nail it down." After 2 biopsies they confirmed a diagnosis of Stage 4 Diffuse Large B Cell Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I started my 1st round of 6 cycles of R-Chop chemo-therapy in May of ’07. A few weeks after my final round of R-Chop my PET scan showed no signs of the Lymphoma, I WAS CURED!!! Or so I thought. I had a recheck PET scan in Jan. of ’08. My doc said it showed 2 small areas and that it was not necessarily Lymphoma and wanted me to come back in 3 months for another PET scan. After I got home and thought about it for awhile I was like, there was no way I could wait that long, what if it is lymphoma? I called my doc and said I wanted a biopsy A.S.A.P. He agreed and after a few days I was told that the lymphoma had returned.
I recently finished 2 rounds of I.C.E. chemotherapy and am scheduled for a Stem-Cell transplant in early April to try and cure me of this incredibly horrid disease. I spoke to my doctor about all this and basically said, let me know WTF is up, am I going to die from this? Please be honest about your opinion. He said that his main job is Stem-Cell transplants, we are not even close to me dying and my prognosis is very good.
So there you go, my journey through life up to now. I consider myself one of the luckiest guys in the world no matter what happens, because throughout all of this I have had the rare opportunity to find out how wonderful my life really is. I have an amazing wife, 3 incredible kids that I would do ANYTHING for, a great extended family and many wonderful friends.
Peace to you all,
Steven M.
I had numerous visits to the Mayo Clinic and they could find nothing wrong with me. They basically told me that I didn’t want to walk, and if I did really want to, I could. They sent me to numerous psychiatrists, and after I almost started to believe their bullshit, I stopped going. Then in early 1989 a friend of my Mom’s recommended a neurologist that had helped her with some back problems.
I met this new doctor in 1989 and he began to look deeper into whatever was going on with me. After a few stays in a Minneapolis hospital, he could find nothing wrong either. Then around 1992 I woke up one day with double vision. I went to my doctor in the Twin Cities and he ordered a bunch of tests, including an MRI of my head. This MRI showed some small scarring on the left side of my brain that was consistent with a neuro-muscular disease called Dystonia. After experimenting with all kinds of meds, my doc saw an article that spoke about a new drug used primarily in patients with Parkinson’s disease. The article stated that some docs saw amazing results with this med and Dystonia. I started on this drug, Artane, sometime in 1994. I was still in a wheelchair, and left my home only for appointments. That’s 7 years of social isolation and being wheelchair bound!!!
During those 7 years I studied 2 things intensely. One was the Bible, the other was guitar. I decided that if I was going to be wheelchair bound, I wanted to be as independent as I could, so I left my parents home and moved to Red Wing, MN in November of 1995 to attend a college for guitar building. I being in a wheelchair was tough and none of their equipment for guitar building was wheelchair friendly, so after my 1st year I was flunking out. I decided to go for a degree in computer support, which I did.
By 1996, thanks to the Artane, I was no longer in the chair, but used a cane to get around. By the time I graduated in Nov. of 1997, I was able to chuck the cane and only had "minor flare-ups" with Dystonia.
In January 1998 I was hired by Manpower to help with Mayo Clinic’s Y2K program, updating older computers to avoid any possible problems with the Y2K scare. After the updates were finished, Mayo kept me on working mostly on installing new computers throughout their campuses in Minnesota. My contract with Manpower expired on Dec. 31st, 1999 and Mayo chose not to renew it.
In January of 2000, I was hired with a company that cleaned carpets, furniture, drapes among other duties, for hotel chains nationwide. It was a pretty cool job as I became a crew leader and we would travel from city to city across the U.S. cleaning these hotels. We were in teams of 3 and we usually had 3 days to get the hotels done. I worked out a system that got the job done in1 to 1 ½ days so we had time to sight see as we wished. I was able to visit the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, The Golden Gate Bridge, the Grand Canyon, spent 3 weeks in Las Vegas, saw concerts at Red Rocks Amphitheater in Denver among other things. After about 8 months I started missing friends, family and most of all, playing guitar. I quit and came back to Rochester, MN.
After a few months of job seeking, I landed a position with All Systems Installation in Rochester, MN. They had a contract with Treasure Island Resort and Casino to wire up their new office buildings and some other upgrades in the casino area. We wired up everything from computers, to phones to closed circuit TV, and other such things. After 6 months the job at Treasure Island was done and almost all 6 of us from Rochester were laid off. So they basically hired some new guys so they could start us on the low end of the pay scale, and when the job was done they laid us off.
That brings us to March of 2001, when I got hired on with Adair Electric in Rochester, basically doing the same thing I did with All Systems. I mainly worked at the Mayo Clinic but also did other businesses and private homes as well.
On March 9th, 2001, I met an amazing woman named Megan while jamming in a friend’s basement (Mel Johnston). We kind of hit it off and started dating. After many incredibly awesome nights spent mostly at the North Star Bar, we found out that we were going to have twins!!! I thought, "Oh shit, we need to get married". So on Sept. 14th of 2001 we did just that!
On Feb. 1st, 2002, we welcomed Jacob and Joshua Rolbiecki into this world, identical twins at that!!!! In May of that year my wife Megan got an awesome opportunity to work for a company that works with organ donations. We talked about it and decided that the offer was too good to turn down so we decided that I would become a stay-at-home dad and she would go off to work.
Everything was going great for us and in April of 2003 I started giving private guitar lessons to help with extra income. Fast forward to January 14th, 2005. On that day my family welcomed Abigail Rolbiecki into this world. Now I had 3 at home to take care of!!! Life was great, and I loved it.
Then, in early April of 2007 I started having this tingling sensation in my left hand. I figured it was due to over practicing my guitar playing, trying to improve my playing for my band Stir. This tingling would continue for about 2 weeks and I thought it was Carpel Tunnel. During that 2 weeks Megan kept on me about going in to see my doctor. I finally relented and went in. At the time I went in I had a minor cough. My doctor put me through several Carpel Tunnel type tests, but nothing fell in place for that diagnosis. Since I had the cough my doc suggested we do a chest x-ray, so we did. Later that day he called and said there were some suspicious areas and that they needed to do a CT scan to find out what was up. A couple days after the CT scan he called back and asked me to come in to talk. I told him, since it sounds kind of bad just tell me on the phone. So I got Megan and we put the phone on speaker. "This is not good" the doc said. "It looks like some type of Lymphoma, but we’ll need to do more tests to nail it down." After 2 biopsies they confirmed a diagnosis of Stage 4 Diffuse Large B Cell Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I started my 1st round of 6 cycles of R-Chop chemo-therapy in May of ’07. A few weeks after my final round of R-Chop my PET scan showed no signs of the Lymphoma, I WAS CURED!!! Or so I thought. I had a recheck PET scan in Jan. of ’08. My doc said it showed 2 small areas and that it was not necessarily Lymphoma and wanted me to come back in 3 months for another PET scan. After I got home and thought about it for awhile I was like, there was no way I could wait that long, what if it is lymphoma? I called my doc and said I wanted a biopsy A.S.A.P. He agreed and after a few days I was told that the lymphoma had returned.
I recently finished 2 rounds of I.C.E. chemotherapy and am scheduled for a Stem-Cell transplant in early April to try and cure me of this incredibly horrid disease. I spoke to my doctor about all this and basically said, let me know WTF is up, am I going to die from this? Please be honest about your opinion. He said that his main job is Stem-Cell transplants, we are not even close to me dying and my prognosis is very good.
So there you go, my journey through life up to now. I consider myself one of the luckiest guys in the world no matter what happens, because throughout all of this I have had the rare opportunity to find out how wonderful my life really is. I have an amazing wife, 3 incredible kids that I would do ANYTHING for, a great extended family and many wonderful friends.
Peace to you all,
Steven M.
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